back! The last couple weeks have busy. I'm not quite sure exactly with what, but they have. I went to Mongolian BBQ for Gaby's 21st. Good food, girly drinks a good time:)

Schooool started Monday. Holy B Jesus! This will be my busiest semester ever! I basically have a quiz and or paper due every day. Thank God I don't believe in Friday classes. It's going to be alooot of work. But I'm looking forward to being busy constantly instead of just two week periods. Starting school, or rather anything without you mom is extremely hard. I'm used to calling you after all my classes, texting you during class and such. I miss telling you about my teachers and how I'm doing and hearing your encourgment. And you telling me, my best is all you want. I felt strange finishing my first day of school and not calling you. It's going to be strange not ranting to you about the ignorant comments that I know are going to be made in my Social Problems class. Remember when I took SOC 101..after every class.. "THAT FUCKIN SPANISH LADY!" I'm going to make you proud, promise. I bet you are still excited about my gpa:) I could not have done it without you. I miss you, and I still really really need you. I have you to thank for having Nathan everyday to come home too. I'm glad I have him to rant to, but it's not the same at all. I'm glad I have someone to encourage me, and be proud of me. But it doesn't feel complete. That is the hardest thing. Whenever something happens, I can call my friends, or fam, or tell Nathan. But it always feels like I have one more person to tell. So whatever I'm talking about doesn 't feel finished cause I can't tell you. It's really hard to not lose my excitment about things. I'm trying though. It's almost been a year. Sometimes it feels like forever, sometimes it feels completely surreal, sometimes it feels like it's been yesterday. I don't want to have to think about you being out of my life for a whole year. Esp, when there are so many more years to come. Your birthday is coming up. I want to do something speical for it, I'm unsure as to what. Like with the tattoo/my birthday I needed to do something to avoid being completley depressed the whole day. I wish I had a place to visit you and lay flowers. I don't know what I want to do for your birthday, but I'll be sure to let you know. It will be good promise.

I wish I could pick up the phone & tell you how I'm feeling.
I'd tell you how I'v changed.
I'd tell you everything.

I love you every second of everyday. I miss you every second of everyday.