THIS man right here. Is the love of my life. I don't mean to get all cheesy and lovey. But at times I can't help it. I never dreamed I'd meet anyone who understands me as well as he does. We are at times so different, he can focus on problems without getting emotional, he frankly has more preservance than I do. (something I hope to learn from him), he has no idea what the word awkward means...the list could go on. But we compliment each other, he shows me how to be strong and when I can't he is my strength, and I help him be more sensitive. His parents have welcomed me with open arms and tell me they love me every time I see them. They've done alot to help me, anndddd have invited me to go on their first family vacay in like 5 years. (VEGASsuckaaa)
He taught me what it means to be in a happy, healthy relationship. I honestly never had one before. (sad) I can not believe what I put up with all these years. He has taught me to be more confident in myself, like how I used to be last year before the curse of anxiety and fear of awkwardness. He pushes me with school, and lets me know I can do it, even when it's hard. He has made the whole in my heart so much smaller. CERTAIN people had no faith in our relationship and said us moving in together was a horrible idea. I'm glad we proved them wrong. I don't know if I would be able to live in my moms house at this point without him. He was gone for 12 days in a row this month, and I did not realize how comfortable he makes me feel at night. (I'm afraid of the dark...) I could not sleep without, I woke up anxious all night, every night. I'm so happy, and so lucky to have my littleboy:) He hates when I call him that.
Aside from all that I see my mom in him everyday. He never got the chance to meet her, which does break my heart. She'd love him, I know it. But as he says, we have our own little Notebook love story. (see i'm teaching him to be more sensitive.) Most people don't know how, alike we are in the sense he lost his mom when he ten. He understand everything I'm going through and it has helped alot to have someone who just..gets it. But back to me seeing my mom in him everyday. When I first met him, I was more or less looking for some ass. (I was going through a dry spell) I thought he was really cute, and we hung out after work one night and kind of hit it off. I still wanted nothing to do with a realtionship. The 3rd time we hung out he was complaning of a stomach ache so I took him home. The next day i went to the hospital to see my mom, and told her I was going to stay, but she was like don't you have a date? I go "ew so not a date and not important at all" She begged me to go, and said she had a good feeling about this one. So.. I went, and his stomach was still hurting. I gave him some advil and bought him a heating pack. It didn't help. He said it was so bad, he wanted to go to the hospital. We went, they basically said he ...he needed to poop lol. They gave him some laxatives, and said he should be fine. He wasn't so I called my mom, and said the pain was getting worse and I didn't know what to do. I told her where it was, and she i needed to take him back. He didn't want to go of course being the manly man, all men think they are. But I told him my mom was a nurse and that he needed to go. By the time we got there he was throwing up, and crying from the pain. I left once he got admitted and figured it was nothing tooooo serious. I called two days later when I didn't hear from him, and he said he needed surgery. His intestines had collasped, and they had to take a part of them out! After his surgery someone stole his phone, and I didn't know if i should call the hospital to see if he was okay, or just let it be. After all it's not like we were dating. I asked my mom and she said call, and that he would apperiacte it. So i did, he could barely talk but said he was fine and would call me when he got home. He ended up being in the hospital for 23 days, and my mom died while he was there. Needless to say he was the last thing on my mind. But he got home on the 24th and texted me on a rather depressing Christmas day.. "marry christmas angel"I could not help but smile. I called him and he told me all about it, and wanted to see me as soon as he could. He sucked it up and came to New Year's Eve with me all doped up on pain medz. After that we were pretty inseperable. He brought a joy to my life that I didn't think I could feel without my mom. I was still miserable without her, but he gave me a few reasons to laugh a day, and eventually alot more reasons. He was there when I needed someone the most. He pushed me to get a new bed, because the old one was my moms and I had been sleeping on the living room fouton for about 2 months. He made me eat when I didn't want too, or felt like I didn't need too. He did so many things to help me grieve for mom, but most of all he just understood. In March he told me, if I hadn't of taken me to the hospital that night the doctors said he would have died. I never knew it was that bad. He told me I saved his life. He said he saved his son from having to go through what he did when he was younger. It was an amazing feeling, helping people alot of the time is one of the only thing that gives me joy. I actually saved a life! And I told him my mom was big part of it. I didn't know what to do, and I called her like I always did. So he said we saved his life:) After a few months we talked about it again, I told him what a better place I was at now, and how he was a big part of it. I can''t imagine how I would dealt with this without him. But I know I wouldn't have passed school, probs would have never gone out, or got out of bed, and I can only imagine how much weight I would have lost. Okay here is the corny part. We have decided. My mom helped me save his life, so he could be there to save mine, so we could be together to save each other. We are both still going through ALOT of things, and it helps to have that one person who loves you unconditionally. I can't imagine my life now without Nathan. He is my bestfriend, and all I could ask for in a boyfriend. Okay and here is the best part. My mom had many journals...and in one of them she wrote about how she was scared she would die before i was an adult, and I would have no one to live with cause my family is crazy. So the next line was.." I guess I'll just have to wait till she was some wonderful man to take care of her" Wow. Nathan came along at just the right time, I met him in Nov, during my moms countless hospital visits. I knew she was dying then, even before anyone told me. And it reaffirms what everyone tells me. That my mom would never leave me all alone. Nathan will never get the chance to meet my amazing mother, but I get to look at him and see her everyday. He gets to look at her pictures and know the huge role she played in his life without even knowing it. THAT my friend, beats the Notebook any day.
oh i love this post.
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