sigh.

Is it weird to say I'm semi glad I've been depressed in the past so I know my warning signs? Well it's coming. I get really happy for a few days, super sensitive, and I over think EVERYTHING. I also surpress. It's strange, I can not be thinking about what I'm sad about and subconsciously become sad. Hard to explain. But I've been avoiding thinking about what this month means, and I realize today it's catching up with me. It puts strain on my school work, me and nathan, and everything...without me even realizing it, till it happens. I wish I could skip this month and this feeling.

I'm trying be proactive. Think postive.
1)School is pretty much done.
2)My college apps will be done by Monday.
3)I have meeting with the VP of UMBC Friday
4) Joshy's birthday is Saturday and we are going laser tag. ESX will be there, and they all brighten my days
5) Nathan's dad's birthday
6)Erinn's & Nicole's birthday
(I like birthdays and giving people stuff)

I just need to keep myself busy...not leave alot of time to think and think about all the joy I do have in my life and all the people that love me.

So much easier said than done.